Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan

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Fashion The Pan - Part XXI

Written by: Brandon Fisher

catdress

I have discussed my displeasure with animal prints on here before, so I won’t rehash my talking points, but I think it’s important for women to participate further in the discussion. Take a look at these cat dresses that are available for sale now (no indication they are actually being purchased, but the knowledge of their existence alone requires me to step up and address the mater.) It’s one thing to look like you wearing an animal's skin like a socialite Buffalo Bill, but it’s another thing to look like the front half of a two-part Halloween costume (Sadly there is someone out there who has to wear the cat’s ass.)

We get that you like cats. You have many. They try to trip us as we walk, lick our face with their butthole stained tongues and try to steal out souls as we sleep. We have accepted this as a penalty for trying to hook up with you. But, let me make it clear. We don’t like your cat. We don’t want them sleeping between us. We don’t want them in your facebook photo album. We don’t want to see them at all. So why would you want to look like one?? More importantly…

When did it become okay to be a crazy cat lady? Wasn’t this once frowned upon as the consequence for being an undatable, socially awkward spinster? Now we have entire days devoted to these people? Caturdays are Mother’s Day for the motherless. It should be renamed Barren’s Day. People used to hide their cat fascination now there are cats in bread and women in cats. This has to stop. I am not suggesting euthanasia. Just spay and neuter these people to prevent further offspring. Oh, who am I kidding? No one would sleep with someone in a cat dress.

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