Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Happy Halloween

Written by: Brandon Fisher


Happy Halloween. Now let’s talk about this three-pack of The Gingerbread Man I found at 7-11. First, who is supposed to be the scary one here? The Gingerbread Man or Gary Busey. If this were a dark alley, it would probably be the later. Second, isn’t Gingerbread a Christmas delicacy? Why would this be advertised for Halloween? I knew they started promoting Christmas earlier and earlier each year, but during Halloween seems excessive. Third, why is there a disco ball in the top left? Is there the threat of a Gingerbread dance scene? Even worse, a CGI Gingerbread breakdance scene? The only breakdance I would enjoy is if his head popped off while doing a head spin. On that note, how does Gingerbread Man kill people? I have not seen the movie, but I hope he bites their heads off in retaliation for years family decapitation. Delicious, delicious decapitation. Lastly, $9.99 for 3 movies? I don’t know that I can spare $3.33 for two hours of my life. I will just make Gary Busey’s out of Gingerbread. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention - they made THREE of these fucking things and we have to start petitions for just one Arrested Development movie?

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