Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Who I Am In Love With This Week - Mystery Woman

Written by: Brandon Fisher


If I've learned anything from Microsoft Excel it's that women are not turned on by your proficiency at it. Female mating preferences are based on skills and preferential traits that will benefit their offspring. In the past these have been things like; height, strength, proficiency in money acquisition, etc. But now in the age of the computer and technology – the traits that will benefit children are not from jocks they’re from nerds. The richest, most powerful men are no longer the biggest and strongest they’re the smartest and most innovative. At some point in the future; programming languages will outweigh mating calls, typing speed will overcast 40 yard dash speeds and mates will not be selected on the size of their biceps but by the size of their brain. Sadly – this shift in nature will happen far too late to directly benefit me. At least my children will grow up in a better world.

The technological advances are not specific just to men, though there is a disproportionate and concerning amount of males in the computer science field. There are few things hotter than a girl speaking code. That’s why this week I am in love with the hot girl in the VW with the vanity license plate of a very specific Excel function (I won’t list it specifically for her privacy). That’s the odd paradox in this age of leaked privacy is that people share every piece of information about themselves on Facebook and other social media sites, except their license plate numbers. You are making it very hard to find you. Not impossible, but harder. Maybe it’s like a puzzle to prove a potential mate’s worth. Well played mystery women. Well played.

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