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Who I Am In Love With This Week - Olivia Munn

Written by: Brandon Fisher

oliviamunn

News reporters are getting too attractive these days. The other day I just wanted to flip on the news before work to see what traffic was like and I thought I landed on the naked channel (word to the wise – if you do watch the naked channel, flip the channel to a neutral station before turning off the TV to avoid a rude awakening - and by that - I mean morning wood.) I only have fifteen minutes before I need to get to work and then I had to go follow-up on this up and coming story. (You can paint the picture whether it was walked off or whacked off – it’s like a “choose your own adventure” story.)

News is hardly fair and balanced let alone accurate and complete, but the problem is I tend to believe what attractive women say. It’s a weakness. I also have to pretend like I am interested in what they are saying, which makes it all that much more difficult now that there are so many attractive female sportscasters. I don’t want to care about football and now I am being tricked into it. Attractive female reporters are also much more soothing while delivering bad news. It’s hard to be upset when I am thinking, “Aw. But you are okay, right? I don’t want you to be sad.” This is why hospitals should hire attractive women to deliver bad news to families, because you can’t curse God while at the same time looking at this work of art He made.

I became aware of Olivia Munn when she was reporting nerdy news on G4 about video games. She was beautiful, smart, funny and entertaining. At first it seemed like she was just mocking us, but over time she committed to this ruse and we accepted her as one of our own. Then she left us (as they all do) and pursued her acting career with roles in Perfect Couples and Magic Mike. Now she plays Sloan, a news reporter on addictive HBO show The Newsroom. She is once again reporting news to me and I believe every word. She should really start making self-esteem boosting tapes that I can listen to while I sleep. With that sultry voice, at least I would have an excuse for my rude awakening.

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