Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan

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Designing Women - Part XXVIII

Written by: Brandon Fisher

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No one likes clowns. Why are they still around? (I apologize for the rhyme.) It seems like their sole purpose is to instill the fear of clowns in children. Part of my discomfort with them is the fake painted smile, because in the majority of instances the real expression deep within the fake smile is one of perpetual sadness, shame and misery. This is not unlike the hollow, emotionless smile you will get from a stripper. It’s merely painted on; it is in no way a reflection of their reality. Am I saying strippers are just as good at a kid’s party? Yes I am. Strippers are adult clowns. You can pay both to come to your house, there’s usually a lot of make-up and glitter, they wear colorful outfits, sometimes ping pong balls are involved and I don’t trust either one.

In a new study, “Smiles (are) signals of lower status in...fashion models: Evidence that smiles are associated with lower dominance and lower prestige.” It seems counterintuitive that they wouldn’t smile, but apparently it has nothing to do with satisfaction. “The current findings suggest that instructions to suppress smiles have less to do with wishing to convey information about the sender’s lack of positive affect (happiness) and instead have more to do with the desire to convey an image of high prestige.” Kind of makes sense. Normally models give off a bitchy, superficial, unapproachable demeanor and if you buy their product you can avoid getting hit on in bars, because no one will want to talk to you. Knowing that the facial expression identifies the underlying feeling, it makes sense clowns have creepy smiles, because they are creepy and you should avoid them. That paint is like the coloring of a poisonous snake. You've been warned.

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