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Brandon Spoils Movies - Just One Of The Guys

Written by: Brandon Fisher

JOG

After reviewing Soul Man I decided to dig deeper into the tragedy that is being rich, white and beautiful in 1980s America and watched “Just One Of The Guys“. Similar to Soul Man, “Just One Of The Guys“ is about a youth unable to achieve their dreams based on their unfortunate genetic code. Instead of becoming black, Joyce Hyser becomes a transvestite in an effort to pose as a male to win a summer journalism internship at a local newspaper. I didn’t know women had trouble being journalists. Good thing this came out when it did or who knows what Arianna Huffington would be doing now. Probably a model.

Here’s the thing. She didn’t originally win the internship because her writing sucked. Both school editors confirmed this when she was a woman AND when she was a man. This has nothing to do with sexism. This had everything to do with suckism. Had she written a good article to begin with this whole movie could have been avoided. Let’s take a closer look at the transformation. Why was the other school’s registration date for entry later than her original school? Seems unfair to give them more time. And what school would allow someone to transfer TWO WEEKS before school ended? I guess the same school that doesn’t match the transcripts assigned sex to their actual person. And then she ended up graduating from her original school. This seems like a whole side movie about filling out applications was circumvented.

Hyser is not a good actress. She has just as hard a time playing a man as she does a woman. She barely passes for human. But not all of this is her fault. There are some glaring issues I have with how the movie assumes men are. Men don’t have beauty marks (not sure why we got skipped in evolution on that one, but it happened.) Men do not have plucked eyebrows – sorry – we don’t care. We also don’t wear ties to school every day – sorry –we don’t care how we dress. We really don’t care about meeting other men and getting to know what music they like and their feelings…actually we don’t really care about other men at all. We care so little about them – no one could tell that this was clearly a woman. Again, white people in the 1980s were pretty fucking dumb.

Let’s talk about the school real quick. Why did people wait until a week before prom to ask someone out? I assume it takes more than a long weekend to plan. And how were there so many nerds in this school? One kid was even allowed to bring pets? No wonder there was a school bully. And to make this a quintessential 1980s movie the bully they got was the bully to end all bullies, Billy Zabka. But the thing about Zabka is – if you look at his movies he gets beat up at the end of every one. In this one he gets beat up by the nerd who has probably never thrown a fist in his whole life. I guess that proves bullying doesn’t work. At least that’s what they would have you believe with all the school campaigning these days.

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