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Designing Women - Part XXI

Written by: Brandon Fisher

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Pretty people are dicks. We can all agree on that, right? What with their noticeable cheekbones, white teeth and inflated sense of self. What a bunch of assholes. And the hotter they get the more intolerable they become. You just want to punch them in the face, don’t you? Have you ever met an attractive person who seemed impossibly nice in relation to their attractiveness and then you come to find out they used to be heavier, but lost the weight? Makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Unattractive people are normally described as having great personalities and it’s true - they often are jolly, like Santa. The least happy people in the world are those that used to be beautiful, but lost their appeal (I call them Republicans.) Beautiful people stop at nothing to attempt to retain their beauty through botox, face lifts, hobo tears or whatever and oftentimes they overdo it and look even worse.

According to a new study, women who were previously obese, but are now thin, are considered less attractive than if they stayed the same consistent weight. Really? I think it’s a positive quality when someone takes steps to improve their life and sees it all the way through. This is why I don’t ask questions about people’s history. No matter how many men they’ve been with or cakes they’ve eaten, it’s always too much. Everyone should get a second chance - unless you are trying to fool me twice. Shame on you. I would prefer someone that used to be obese over someone who used to be wealthy. In both scenarios they lost something, but at least one of the two had something to fall back on – other than their backs.

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