Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan

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Designing Women - Part XVIII

Written by: Brandon Fisher

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No one wants to be in the friend zone. I have friends. I don’t need more. The friend zone is like a waiting room that you sit in expecting to eventually get called up, but it never happens (the friend zone also has no good magazines to read.)  I have spent plenty of time in the friend zone. To make the experience worse is when people continue to remind you that you are in the friend zone. It’s bad enough I am here, but it’s just cruel to use sentences like, “because you’re such a good friend…” or “if you weren’t my buddy…” If I am standing at line at McDonald’s you don’t have to keep reminding me I am at McDonalds. I get it. I was hungry and I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up here. Sure the friend zone offers some substance, but it’s not what you want. “You want a Big Mac? How does a Saltine sound?”

The substance the friend zone could offer is - a sliver of proof that you aren’t as creepy as you appear. If you hang around attractive people of the opposite sex – a potential mate sees this and assumes if you were a serial killer you would be drinking alone plotting on the back of a napkin. You are at least acceptable enough for a night on the town. New research confirms that, “men receive higher desirability ratings from female raters when presented with attractive (compared to unattractive) model females.” Having a hot female friend that you can’t sleep with has finally proved to have some value. The next time you are sitting in the friend zone and an attractive female accidentally walks in and finds you there at least she knows you were granted an appointment. She might even share your Saltine.

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