Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan

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Designing Women - Part XIV

Written by: Brandon Fisher

celebrity

The whole KONY2012 thing is fascinating to me. Not the atrocities that occurred, which are awful - but the instant celebrity and fame gained by the video. First off there’s Jason Russell the co-founder of Invisible Children who helped make the KONY2012 video a viral hit. He whipped his non-invisible little man out in public and got arrested. Couldn’t this dude have just laid low and did interviews for at least ONE WEEK a bit before public tarnishing his image? Come on man. That’s how famous I would like to be. If I commit some minor public offense I would like to be front page news. “Brandon Fisher was arrested this week for running an illegal Pokémon fighting tournament in his basement? He called it the Pikachumaté”.

Then there’s Joseph Kony. After the video was watched by millions of people you can no longer name your kid Kony. His name will forever live in infamy like Hitler or Yoko. That’s how famous I would like to be. It would be amazing to be so famous that my name could not be removed from the immediate public mind and no future child could ever be my namesake. “You named your child Brandon? Even after the Pokémon atrocities?”

According to new research by the Pew Research Center, 51 percent of women say being famous is their number one or number two goal in life. “Famous” is a very ambiguous term these days. You can be famous for having eight kids inside you at once or you can be famous for having eight dudes inside you at once. What I am saying is make your own opportunities. You think the first guy to wear a beard of bees in the Guinnes World Book sat back and dreamed of being on Fear Factor? No! He got out there every day and let these bees fuck his face until he was able to attract some attention. Now I am not saying you should get swarmed by bees, but it would require fewer trips to the hospital than fucking one of the Jersey Shore cast.

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