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Brandon Spoils Movies - Twins

Written by: Brandon Fisher

twins

I recently read they are planning to make a sequel to Twins called Triplets starring Eddie Murphy. In order to wrap my brain around this I decided to go back and watch the original 80s classic comedy movie. The plot of the movie is that the US Government, in order to create the perfect human, took samples of 6 men and implanted the traits in one woman. She gave birth to a healthy boy (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and a healthy placenta (Danny DeVito.)  Schwarzenegger was told his mother died in birth (although not from having 6 dudes inside her.) I think it was from shame for birthing DeVito. The twins were separated at birth and years later Schwarzenegger was informed he has a brother and he goes to LA. Upon finding him he realizes his brother is a scumbag loser who owes money to a loan shark and steals a car with a $5 million item in the trunk which he needs to deliver to TX to claim the money. Sadly this is not a “road trip” movie – though it would have been much better if it was. In one week Schwarzenegger meets his brother, meets his mom, drinks his first beer and gets laid for the first time - sounds like a good week. And then they return the stolen item in the trunk and get a big reward. Time to sign up for ancestry.com and see if I have a twin.

The obvious joke is that they’re twins that look nothing alike, get it? One is street smarts and the other is books smarts (and muscle smarts and looks smarts and hair smarts…) One is Mr America and the other is Mr American Scum. HA. Ha. ha. The other obvious joke is the “stupid foreigner surviving in LA” gag. He has never heard rock and roll or driven a car (though he picks up both very quickly) and he doesn’t know about crime. Because if you don’t know in LA criminals pick the strongest dudes they can find to try and rob. Stupid foreigners (by the way the same foreigners Governor Schwarzenegger wants out of LA.)

What’s crazy about the movie is – like the sperm cocktail they gave to that lady to make the twins the movie “Twins” is a melting pot of other movies. First off, Arnold. He is a muscular foreigner who tries to find his way through the streets of California. Sounds a lot like Terminator. Plus he is the government’s creation of a perfect human figure. Like Terminator. And at one point he actually says the line, “I’ll be back.” Like Terminator. Why am I watching this and not Terminator? This movie came out in 1988 years before Pulp Fiction, but the characters names are Jules (Samuel L Jackson/ Schwarzenegger) and Vincent (John Travolta/Danny Devito) - like the characters in Pulp Fiction. They drive around together, they get in gun fights, they wear suits... Why am I watching this and not Pulp Fiction? To get even crazier “Twins” co-stars Kelly Preston who later married John Travolta. Why am I watching this and not their sex tape?

Why did I watch this again? Oh right – to understand why anyone would want to make a sequel. I guess it’s an okay movie with a mildly entertaining premise and just enough action to keep you from dozing off. But you know what my favorite part of the movie is? No Eddie Murphy.

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