Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan

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Brandon Breaks Records- Barry Polisar

Written by: Brandon Fisher

Polisar

Adult babies are a very real, creepy thing. Besides adult diapers, they even make adult sized cribs now. These people dress and act like babies for attention and/or boobs. But there aren’t enough baby adults. And I don’t mean the Etrade Baby. I mean a newborn – lying down on a tiny couch in a tiny suit, worrying about day care debt and debating why women aren’t more mature at this age. That would be adorable to me. The adult baby is just creepy. Which means there is a definitive age where cute turns to creepy. I think it’s the point where chocolate around the mouth is intentional not accidental.

I should preface – there are plenty of people who wish they were children again. There is no other explanation for dodgeball and kickball leagues springing up all over the place. Twentysomethings these days are living out the opposite dream of the movie "Big". The new movie is called “Little” and it stars every adult under thirty in Northern Virginia. It’s just too bad there isn’t a trade program like having a twelve year old come sit in my office and do my taxes while I swing on the swing set.

This record by Barry Polisar is technically children’s music. It’s odd that there’s children’s music, adult contemporary, tween pop, but no music for the elderly. I guess that would just be phones that ring like their children calling or the sound of a new box of Kleenex being opened. If you think children are easy to please you should meet an old person. You don’t even have to jingle keys in front of them. Just the fact that you made the effort to show up is good enough.

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