Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Who I Am In Love With This Week - Angelique Houtkamp

Written by: Brandon Fisher


I don’t watch a lot of reality shows at the bemusement of everyone who thinks it, “would be the best thing to write about in my act.” Reality shows are staged more than the Oscars and I feel no sympathy, admiration or love for any of these reality black holes. I recently read that MTV is modifying “16 and Pregnant” because teenage girls are intentionally getting pregnant to get on the show and gain fame. I thought it was bad when these pageant mothers pimped out their daughters, but now teenage girls are skewing even younger and are pimping out their embryos. What’s next “Amazing Race to the Egg” starring 10 million lucky sperm contestants?

I have started watching a new show tattoo contest show called “Ink Master” on Spike, because I like to see live art, women in tattoos and people in real pain. The difference between this and every other reality show is – if you mess up a cupcake, you can just throw it in the trash; you can’t start over with a tattoo. They actually tattoo people for life. These people are on the show because they have talent and are good at something. “Talent on a reality show?”, you question? Yes, weird I know. Most reality shows are perishable and fleeting (unless you were in the Jersey Shore hot tub in which case you got a souvenir for life.)

I have several tattoos. Anytime someone wants to get a tattoo I give them this advice; get your idea, wait a year, print out the idea and put it somewhere you will see it every day and if you are still down and stoked after a year - schedule an appointment. I have been friends with tattoo artists over the years and I have often asked if there are tattoos they won’t do and there answer is always, “Yes.” One day my friend said he had to turn down a dude wanting the Kool Aid Man grabbing his crotch giving the middle finger because of moral issues (I believe it was the Golden Rule.) My next two tattoos have been printed out for a couple years and I just have to go in and get them done. My other suggestion is - if you are getting art by someone make SURE you get their permission first. To fill in my arms I am getting work drawn by the amazing tattoo artist Angelique Houtkamp from Amsterdam. I emailed her years ago asking to use her design and she graciously approved. I love women and I love tattoos especially both at the same time. What’s better is women with tattoos who tattoo. Angelique is known to tattoo women with tattoos of women with tattoos. It’s all very meta.

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