Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan

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Designing Women - Part XIII

Written by: Brandon Fisher

Run

Last year I was sitting outside a bar waiting for a mic to start and a hoard of people came running past. Not running from anything, like Godzilla, they were just running together. Seemed odd to me, but I was informed the new, hip thing to do in Northern Virginia is to join running groups. People have given up trying to meet people at the gym and are creating new ways to pair up. This is one of the new channels through which to meet people.

First off, I don’t know why anyone would want to meet someone through a physical activity. You are probably in terrible shape, you have on ridiculous workout clothes and you are against an army of other dudes with the same idea. A running group sounds like a terrible idea. I don’t want the person to know how quickly winded I get. I don’t want them to know my zero to caked in sweat time. Can you imagine trying to talk to someone while you are running and you are completely out of breath. My best first impression is not balled over gasping out one liners begging the person to “wait up.” Also doesn’t it kind of feel like you are chasing the person. Maybe they are running so much faster, because they are trying to get away from you. If they run into oncoming traffic to throw off your pursuit that is probably a bad sign. If they choose to get hit by a car instead of talking to you that’s an even worse sign.

But maybe these people are onto something. According to a new study by psychologists at the Universities of California and Harvard faces are considered more attractive when they are moving. If you are a girl at a bar the best thing to do to thwart creepy dudes is to remain as still as possible – like in a bear attack (I can’t tell you how many times I have compared picking up a girl to a bear attack.) When I talk to girls now I am going to be bobbing and weaving like a prize fighter.

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