Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan

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The Saddest Thing Ever

Written by: Brandon Fisher

Condom

 

Walking out of Starbucks I noticed this little guy just hanging out in the road. It’s an unpackaged yet unused condom. I’ve seen used condoms on the road before, but never an unused one. Is this not the saddest thing in the world? There can only be a few circumstances I can think of to explain how this occurred:

Some guy was about to have sex, told his lady he was putting on protection, opened the package to prove he was putting it on then coyly dropped it out the window into an unsuspecting parking lot.

Someone had sex, used the condom and then took the time to roll it back up as though they were putting everything back in order as they found it.

There is so much sex in this parking lot that planned parenthood is leaving condoms around - just in case.

It might have been used and someone has a very small penis.

Someone realized after years of having this condom in their wallet that they are never going to have sex again and throwing this on the ground is their commemoration of celibacy.

A condom got loose from the factory and is going on a quest to find his family.

 

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