Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Designing Women - Part VIII

Written by: Brandon Fisher


Two things pop into my mind when I am about to kiss a girl for the first time. The first is the scene from Annie Hall where Woody Allen pulls Diane Keaton aside and says, “Hey listen, gimme a kiss…because we're just gonna go home later, right, and then there's gonna be all that tension, we've never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right move or anything. So we'll kiss now and get it over with, and then we'll go eat. We'll digest our food better.” The other is the memory of the first time I french kissed a girl. She bit my tongue. That act has defined most of my future interactions with women from that point moving forward.

Now, I am not bad at foreplay. If I am on home turf and am comfortable, it’s not an issue. Getting that bra off can be a challenge though. Why are they getting so complicated to unhatch? It’s like you need formal training in bank vault cracking to pop these things off. I think each woman’s bra was designed by the father of that woman to be as difficult as possible. They might as well print the instructions of how to take it off directly on the front, like disassembling an Ikea desk. Men’s undergarments are the opposite. Ours are designed to come off as quickly as easily as possible. You don’t see men’s underwear with a buckle on the waist band for a reason.

A new study determined kissing behavior and the impact on short-term and long-term mating relationships. “Results showed that females place more importance on kissing as a mate assessment device and as a means of initiating, maintaining, and monitoring the current status of their relationship with a long-term partner. In contrast, males place less importance on kissing, especially with short-term partners, and appear to use kissing to increase the likelihood of having sex. The results suggest that kissing may play an important role as an adaptive courtship/mating ritual.” What’s also interesting is that men were more likely to have sex with someone who is a bad kisser. In fact slightly more than half of men would still have sex after a bad kissing encounter. In my opinion sex is always better than foreplay, because with sex there is always a decisive winner.

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