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Designing Women - Part IX

Written by: Brandon Fisher

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Odds are if you are a girl in a group of other, prettier girls, you are the ugly one making everyone else look better. You are the bridesmaids dress to their wedding gown. I don’t think women stop at physical attractiveness either. There is usually an outgoing one, a funny one and a smart one. It’s a weird symbiotic relationship where the combined qualities of the individuals make the larger whole better.

Men, on the hand work in the opposite direction. The collective maturity in terms of age decreases in relation to the quantity of dudes. For example, if six twenty-eight year-olds hang out, their collective maturity age decreases to twenty-two (22 = 28 – 6.) If eight sixteen year-olds hang out, their collective maturity age is decreased to 8 (8 = 16 – 8.) You’ve all seen it - six twenty-eight year old dudes drinking to black out like they’re back in college or a herd of teenage boys resorting to playing grab ass in the mall. This is because male groups are more susceptible to bottlenecks. Contrary to women, the ugliest dude in a group can bring down the attractiveness of the collective to their level and no women would talk to any of the group. It’s like when rednecks move into your neighborhood and bring down the property value with their flamingo lawn ornaments and dip-spit soaked crab grass. One black hole of a loser in the group can suck all the surrounding goodness into a void. Pick your friends wisely. Birds of a feather fuck together.

A recent study has shown that visual moods can be transferred to those surrounding you. “Objects can ‘grab’ properties from nearby objects, in a phenomenon scientists call illusory conjunction. For instance, a red circle next to a white triangle might make the triangle seem red. This same effect can also apply to social targets: a neutral face can ‘grab’ the emotion of the angry person next to it, causing the neutral person to be remembered as angry. In a recent paper published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers at Arizona State demonstrated that male faces are more likely than female faces to “grab” the anger from an adjacent face, while female faces are more likely to “grab” happiness.”

Guys - you know that quick tempered dude that you let hang around, because, “he’s a bro…and you don’t know him like I do…and once you get to know him…”? He is killing your game. Ladies – you know how you think, “all your friends are so pretty and you are so lucky to have such caring wonderful friends and you are so happy”? You are the ugly happy one. Sorry.

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