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Brandon Spoils Movies - Point Break

Written by: Brandon Fisher

pointbreak

Last night I watched Point Break again. It’s probably a bad sign that I have owned the movie for many years and had to take the wrapping off to open the box. Damn you $5 grab bins. Point Break is about Keanu Reeves as an ex-football star turned FBI agent in charge of finding a group of bank robbers named the Ex-Presidents (because they wear masks of former Presidents.) He is partnered up with the unusually tame Gary Busey who hypothesizes that the Ex-Presidents are surfers. So Reeves picks up surfing to get inside and learns the ropes from Lori Petty (who does her best Courtney Cox impersonation throughout the movie.) Through Petty he meets Patrick Swayze and his gang of fellow surfers. If you have ever seen a movie in your life, you probably figured out Swayze and gang are the Ex-Presidents pretty quick.

Point Break is directed by Kathryn Bigelow, who won the Oscar for The Hurt Locker. Point Break only won one award - the 1991 MTV Most Desirable Male award for Reeves (who beat out co-star Swayze). Again, another bad sign. The movie takes place in the 90s during the peak of the action/adventure sport craze. Point Break is basically a 120 minute Mountain Dew commercial, but if you speed up all the slow motion to regular speed the movie is really like 45 minutes. There’s surfing, sky diving and beach football (which is slightly less gay than the volleyball scene in Top Gun. It’s hard making anything on sand look tough.) There are several chase scenes though none of them are actually on surf boards – missed opportunity if you ask me. My favorite chase scene, is of course, the sky diving scene. What’s odd is that it took weeks for Reeves to learn to surf, yet he picked up sky diving immediately. Must be easier to fall down than stand up.

The Ex-Presidents had eluded prison, because they get in and out in 90 seconds. I have the same philosophy for my sex life. Now, I thought Presidents bailed out banks – not robbed them. I guess it makes sense, you can’t rob something that has no money. Throughout the movie all of the Ex-Presidents die, just like the Presidents they portrayed (eerily almost in exact order too.) Swayze, who is the last to die perishes in a 50 year storm trying to ride the biggest wave. Isn’t that just like life? Do you think when Swayze was about to pass on, someone took him to Australia and let him paddle out in the horizon? The movie closes with Reeves throwing his badge into the ocean. Why did he quit the force? Didn’t he just successfully complete the case? When Reeves is about to pass on, I think he should throw his SAG membership card into the sea. Or maybe just throw Busey in and spare us from any further rambling rants.  

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