Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Ju Ju Beans

Written by: Brandon Fisher


I have been approached by women after a comedy show before, and yes, I have gotten some of their information in the past. But last night I got more information than I anticipated. Some might say too much information. I was handed this grammatically challenged napkin by an older African American lady who brought her 12 year old to the comedy open mic. Let’s break it down:

Line 1: I do got what it take. It take lots and I got it.

Line 2: Not sure what part of my set implied I was concerned about my penis, but it is refreshing to know that someone is looking out for me. Oftentimes I fear for my penis in a dangerous, cruel, uncertain world, but it is a weight off my penis to know its all good, because I got what it take.

Line 3: This has probably been my error in the past: I don’t know if I should be good to a woman or all women. She suggests I be good to a women. Which I guess mean womankind, right? They say you can’t please everyone all the time - - unless you are going down on them, in which case it’s always a victory.

Line 4: Self explanatory.

Line 5: I am very satisfied in my manhood, but I am not sure what angle she watched my set from, because I do not have 2 foot tall Ju Ju Beans. I would actually be concerned if this was the case. Unless the action was to save my Ju Ju Beans from a snake bite that has caused extreme swelling.

Line 6: Am I supposed to supply the berries or should I eat a whole bunch for the days leading up? If you are bringing the berries, I prefer raspberry. (Ed: it also seems like this line was squeezed in last minute. I can see her thinking after her lapse in judgement, "Oh no! I forgot to tell him what it will taste like!")

Line 7: I do have a great me. Thank you for your trust.

Line 8: I have good carma? The Carbon Monitoring for Action organization? Whew – what a relief. I was concerned I did something negative in the past that affected my carbon levels (especially in my penis region, apparently.)

Post Script: I will keep being me.

In summation: I am not sure if it’s possible to extract educational wisdom or grammar through a BJ, but I am pretty sure if I followed through my reading level would plummet. She did include her email, which is blurred out, because if anyone is going to be an advocate for adult education, it’s me.

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