Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Who I Am In Love With This Week - Education Connection Girl

Written by: Brandon Fisher


In college I dated a girl who persuaded me to buy a pager (yes, I am that old.) Unbeknownst to me, it was not for fashion or status; it was so that she could track me wherever I went. This was before GPS, yet somehow she knew instinctually whenever I crossed outside of my geographically permitted zone. Every time I breached state lines, I got a beep to call her. The pager was basically the human version of the invisible fence that they have for dogs. Why did I buy a pager and allow myself to be tracked and monitored like an escaped convict? Because I am powerless against hot women.  

I broke up with that girl, finished college and ended up with a degree in marketing (and pussywhipping). Knowing something about advertising, I would estimate around 99% of commercials are infuriating to me. However, every once in a while I come across a commercial with a jingle so catchy I can’t help but bob or sing along (also see Sarah McLachlan’s BC SPCA End Animal Cruelty commercial). Because of stand-up I almost never watch TV, but you can be sure if I am, the education connection commercial comes on. Damn that jingle is catchy. And the girl in the commercial is hypnotizing. Therefore, this week I am in love with you - education connection girl. Once again a hot woman has altered my purchasing habits. At times I have been so into it and her that I actually think about going back to college. But what would most likely end up happening is I would end up in another relationship falling prey to whatever the new undercover tracking device is.

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