Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Who I Am In Love With This Week - Bérénice Bejo

Written by: Brandon Fisher

Berenice Bejo


I don’t get out to see a lot of movies because of my comedy schedule, but even when I had the free time I refused to see movies on opening weekend or at night or, really, whenever there was the possibility of kids being around. I have fully come to terms with the fact that I will be the old crotchety man who keeps kids Frisbees if they land in my yard. I like to see movies on weekdays when kids are in school. People talking during movies is one of my major pet peeves and kids these days have the attention span of gnats, so you know they aren’t going to keep their mouths or phones turned off. Do you know some theaters actually have sections for people to use their phones during the movie? I think this is how Ancient Rome started its decline.

I went to go see The Artist on Thursday at noon where I was assured to be safe from chatter and anyone under the age of 60. If you don’t know The Artist is a black and white silent film. Kids talk and type on their phone relentlessly, but apparently old people make a lot of noise too. They were coughing and weezing and decaying. Some women behind me kept complaining about her cataracts. Ugh. Where is the section of the theater to pen off old people?

I don’t normally get smitten with movies stars, but my focus was quickly diverted from hating old people when Bérénice Bejo came on screen. She is so incredible on so many levels, I would make life altering sacrifices to get to hang out with her. I would stop hating people for her. I would stand in line for a midnight screening of Twilight for her. I would watch a movie about kids texting for her. The last movie star I fell in love with was Audrey Tautou – also a French actress. Maybe I should move to France. Do they have texting yet?

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