Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Who I Am In Love With This Week - Wives Of The League

Written by: Brandon Fisher


Women in football outfits irritate me.  I am not referring to powderpuff. If women want to prance around in tiny outfits, who am I to stop them? I mean the officially sold NFL jerseys. I understand supporting the team, but they are cut like a sexy outfit. There is no way you could get shoulder pads under those uniforms – not even the ones Paula Poundstone wore.  I am sure there are some guys who fantasize about making love to their women in a football outfit, but if that jersey happens to be for Peyton Manning – it’s kind of like they want to be the catching a deep ball from Peyton - in the biblical sense (they had football in the bible, right?) And, by the way, most of those outfits are actually made for children and women wear them, which means it’s an even weirder fantasy to me – almost as weird as the people who have devoted their lives to fantasy football leagues.

I played, and got crushed, in two fantasy football leagues this year. The problem is I have a life outside of fantasy football (part of that life involves a gambling addition, which is why I joined.) Seriously, some people need to worry less about their fantasy draft and more about their reality drafts. In the first round you should draft - - up a check to pay for your utility bill. Then you should scout for - - a new job that doesn’t allow you to sit in sweatpants in your basement. Then you should drop - - your kids off at school and pick up - - your wife from work.

It’s shocking that some people I know, who have devoted their lives to fantasy, have a family (a real one – as far as I know there isn’t a fantasy family game out there, because that site would close within a day due to lack of interest.) Therefore, to commemorate the fantasy wives whose husbands are emerging from their hibernation in the basement after the close of the fantasy season, I am in love with the wives of the show The League. Now that the holidays are here a lot of comedy open mics are taking a break and I am getting to catch up on TV from this season. The first on my list is The League on FX. As characters, Jenny and Sofia are beautiful and give hope to gamers that we could drink beer, watch football and score a hot wife. As actresses, Katie Aselton and Nadine Velazquez are hilarious and really helped the show create a convincing and needed story arc. Good game girls. Insert pat on butt here.

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