Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Brandon Breaks Records- Driver Education

Written by: Brandon Fisher


I went to a very poor high school. They were so poor they started combining classes to save money. My high school combined sex ed and drivers ed into one class and called it “sex drive.” The first day they tried to combine the curriculum. They taught us how to pull out of a parking space into traffic and how to pull out of a girl to not get her pregnant. They focused on safe driving and safe sex. In the lesson plan they taught the dangers of back seat driving and back seat fucking. Both cases could cause accidents – like babies. I mean hitting a baby with your car – or your penis.

Did you ever see the instructional movie “Red Asphalt”? You didn’t see the sex ed version - it was graphic. And the birthing video was even more graphic - It was just a buick squeezing through the world’s smallest car wash and for some reason it was dirtier on the other side. You know how the driving instructor had to be in the car with you when you took your driving test? They had one for sex too. A lot of teachers were fired that year. 

Chevrolet decided that since kids were having sex and doing it in a Chevy they might as well make a record to train you how to do it. And it's nice background music while your getting into rear end accidents over and over. 

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