Brandon Fisher, CJ Kirkwood & Faizan


Designing Women - Part II

Written by: Brandon Fisher


I could never date a really tall woman- one of the few things George Constanza and I differ on. In my opinion, tippy toes should never come into the equation when moving in for a kiss. Unless you are Michael Jackson, no man should ever be on his toes. If you need to reach a high shelf - get a ladder or a forklift or prop someone up on your shoulders (because nothing says “man” like a pair of balls on the back of your neck.) Like the bedroom, I think most men like to be on top, but your first move shouldn’t be to get as horizontal as quickly as possible to narrow the field. Or maybe it is. What do I know?

According to a new study in Evolutionary Psychology, “Humans show marked height dimorphism, which means that men typically view women’s faces from slightly above and women typically view men’s faces from slightly below…As predicted, tilting female faces upwards decreased their perceived femininity and attractiveness, whereas tilting them downwards increased their perceived femininity and attractiveness.”

This directly supports my opposition to high heels as outlined in Comedic Intent Podcast #28. Flats are the way to go ladies. I am a little heightist. I think people should date within their height. Whatever. It’s not like I am suggesting short people should always use the lower drinking fountain, but it would be appreciated. You can read the whole summary here

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