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Brandon Breaks Records - Dave Holladay

Written by: Brandon Fisher

I shop at a lot of thrift stores and have purchased thousands of records over the years. In this series, I will be breaking down records and the hearts and egos of the artists who made them, because I am a mean person.

First up is Dave Holladay's "Ramona From Daytona" from 1982. You can tell she's from Daytona, because of the palm tree images on the cover, which was designed before art existed. You may be asking yourself, "Why are some trees growing out of other trees?" Great question. This is because the album was recorded in the mysterious, magical land of Daytona in the late nineteen hundreds. Scholars have established that during this period of time in Daytona, later named the Mulletzoic Era, fedora hats were commonly manufactured at twice the height of those seen today. In the surreal land of Daytona, it was also acceptable to wear a sweater under a blazer. In the native Daytonian language it was called a "swayzer".

This record stands as one of the last remnants of the Daytonian society during this period - though several Miami Vice T-Shirts and various “Pac Man” memorabilia have been preserved. Scholars are unsure if these Pac Men were friends or foes to the native Daytonians, it is evident that they were constantly hungry and easily trapped by mazes. Historians are also unclear whether the album was recorded with inflatable guitars or with the assistance of these “Pac Men”, but they have confirmed the style of music is synonymous with the type of mundane, forgettable, run-of-the-mill quality commonly associated with the Daytonian society.

Songs such as, “Excuse Me For Loving You” and “I Wish I Felt This Way At Home” were probably played at night around a Daytonian campfire before throwing the album atop of the flames. Other songs, like “I.O. Blues” are believed to have influenced other hits such as Kirk Van Houten's "Can I Borrow A Feeling?" and Bruno Mars’ “Grenade.” Though scholars do not recommend listening to the album due to the side effects it may have on your time, they believe it is important to keep around to remind people why they should never visit Daytona.

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